Humour, Politics, Satire, Singapore

Free taglines for independent GE candidates

Dear supporters, we regret to inform that The Housewarming Party will not be taking part in this year’s general elections as we did not want to use any of the symbols below.

We were actually willing to compromise on this matter and would have settled for a symbol of thunder instead, but officials at the Elections Department said that all independent candidates must choose from one of the following 15 illustrations (as seen below).

We understand that two other independent candidates, Ms Han Hui Hui (Flower) and Mr Samir Salim (Horse) were successful in their applications and we wish them all the best in their endeavours.

Inspired by Mr S. Iswaran’s magnanimous act of pointing out to Mr Kenneth Jeyaretnam the error in his nomination form, THP has decided to share with future candidates some possible taglines for these symbols. Please feel free to use them.

symbols

Helicopter
I am not like the other parties that always fly aeroplane. I fly helicopter.

Yacht
Everything in my GRC will be smooth sailing. Confirm no arrears.

Laptop
I will always be online and connected to my GRC residents.

Fan
The shit will never hit the fan if I’m elected.

Tree
My roots are firmly beneath your grass.

Flower
My GRC will blossom with me in parliament.

Rhino
Talents like me are endangered species.

Whale
I am not an airhead. I understand the massive burdens of average Singaporeans.

Bird
I will be your messenger pigeon in parliament.

Ear
I will pull the PAP’s ear when they get out of line.

Scroll
I won’t screw up the nomination form submission.

Horse
I am the dark horse that will neighber give up on my residents.

Rooster
I will cuckookookoo and tell the PAP to wake up (their idea).

Lighthouse
I am the beacon of light that will make sure the PAP don’t kalang kabok.

Car
I am an Uber driver who knows how to debate about transport issues.

 

P.S. By the way, we are indeed contemplating changing our party logo to thunder and we welcome submissions from anyone.

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